"Octa, mate, we are paying for everything."
"Guys, there's no nee-"
"It's your stag party, we are paying."
Octaboona Ambrosius sighed slightly, but then smiled. "Alright then. But tell me where we're going?"
Niall, Hellboy, Reg, Chan, and Pyro all attempted to keep their faces straight. Gep had a grin plastered across his face like nothing anyone had ever seen. He was bad at pokerfaces.
*
"Remind me again why we have to go to a strip club?"
"It's traditional," said Hellboy.
Everyone looked at each other. Nobody seemed especially comfortable with the idea. And thus the game of "no-you-go-in-first" was born.
Eventually, after many games of rock-paper-scissors, Gep had to walk in. Before anyone even had the chance to walk in after him, he came flying out of the door again, and a tall woman poked her head out.
"No under eighteens!"
Niall clapped his hands together, looking relieved. "Well, men, it appears we cannot get into this fine establishment. Shame shame, let's do something else."
But hellboy was not to be deterred, taking his phone from his pocket, dialling a number, and clapping it to his ear. "Hello, Quinn? Yeah, we need to borrow your fake moustaches."
*
Cut to afterwards, paintball.
*
The paintballs hit hard, and they hit often.
Having an odd number of people meant that teams didn't work out well, so they went for a free-for-all.
There was a generally accepted rule that you shot mostly Octa, but tried not to inflict too much pain.
Hellboy just shot everyone, he was like a bloody berserker.
As such, it was him that the ambush hit first. If you are being accosted by paintballs, it is usually best not to stand on the top of a mound of dirt and wave your arms. It is also probably best not to scream "FUS RO DAH" at the top of your lungs. Still, when the pink paintball hit his helmet, it came as a bit of a shock to everyone.
The first was followed swiftly by several more, knocking the wind out of him and effectively knocking him over.
Niall scarpered over and shot him once in the knee, for the lulz.
Several of the girls, most of whom were meant to be on the stag night, ran yelling over the hill. One or two sauntered after leisurely, obviously not bothered with running.
Soon, all of the boys were covered in pink paint, and were very sore for it.
*
Later, in the large hall they had booked, music was blaring and everyone was a little giddy from the experience. Over in the corner, Venice and Lego were giggling uncontrollably, and no-one really knew why. Until the song started to play, and a spotlight was shone onto the door. Everyone could hear some sort of commotion or arguing from behind the door, and there was a moment of tension before the door was opened slightly.
A man stumbled out, dressed as a cowboy, and looking as though he had been pushed. He looked around at the crowd. "Umm... Hi. I'm the strippergram you booked?"
Derek Landy begrudgingly began to remove his bolo tie.
(Derek's stripping song.)
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND CONGRATULATIONS
